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237 lines
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<feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"><title>Shane Feuz</title><link href="https://shanefeuz.com/" rel="alternate"/><link href="https://shanefeuz.com/feeds/all.atom.xml" rel="self"/><id>https://shanefeuz.com/</id><updated>2025-10-31T00:00:00-06:00</updated><subtitle>A Consummate Amateur</subtitle><entry><title>Chopin Prelude in A Major</title><link href="https://shanefeuz.com/chopin-prelude-a-major.html" rel="alternate"/><published>2025-10-31T00:00:00-06:00</published><updated>2025-10-31T00:00:00-06:00</updated><author><name>Shane Feuz</name></author><id>tag:shanefeuz.com,2025-10-31:/chopin-prelude-a-major.html</id><summary type="html"><p>Here's the video of me playing the piece, but the audio quality of the WAV file below the video is much better.</p>
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<div class="yt-container">
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<iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/KKZ4PkG66aY?si=wTlVJvKxZ48gMHGN" title="Chopin Prelude in A Major" class="youtube">
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</iframe>
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<p><audio controls>
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<source src="/attachments/Chopin-Prelude-A-Major-2025-10-12.wav" type="audio/wav"><br>
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Your browser does not support the audio element.<br>
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</audio></p>
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<h2>Introduction</h2>
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<p>Chopin completed the 24 preludes while in Mallorca where he spent the winter of 1838-39 in an attempt to …</p></summary><content type="html"><p>Here's the video of me playing the piece, but the audio quality of the WAV file below the video is much better.</p>
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<div class="yt-container">
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<iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/KKZ4PkG66aY?si=wTlVJvKxZ48gMHGN" title="Chopin Prelude in A Major" class="youtube">
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</iframe>
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</div>
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<p><audio controls>
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<source src="/attachments/Chopin-Prelude-A-Major-2025-10-12.wav" type="audio/wav"><br>
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Your browser does not support the audio element.<br>
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</audio></p>
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<h2>Introduction</h2>
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<p>Chopin completed the 24 preludes while in Mallorca where he spent the winter of 1838-39 in an attempt to escape the damp Paris weather.</p>
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<p>Similar to Bach's preludes and fugues in the Well Tempered Clavier, Chopin's preludes cover all 24 major and minor keys. Unlike Bach, these preludes stand on their own. They are not followed by fugues or any other pieces.</p>
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<p>It is now common for pianists to perform all 24 preludes as a complete cycle, but Chopin himself never performed more than four of them at one time.</p>
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<p>The A major is the shortest of all the preludes, so I figured it would be the perfect piece to kick off my 12 recordings in 12 months goal.</p>
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<h2>Performance Critique</h2>
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<p>The piece is written in 3/4 time and consists of eight two-measure phrases. Each phrase follows the same rhythmic pattern with a quarter note upbeat followed by a dotted rhythm leading into three repeated chords.</p>
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<p>As I worked on this piece, there were four challenges I needed to grapple with: 1) voicing the main melodic line to not get lost in the beautiful harmonies of the thicker textures, 2) creating a sense of momentum with the dotted rhythms leading into the repeated chords, 3) an awkward stretch in both hands (with the right thumb playing two black keys simultaneously) at the end of the 6th phrase, and 4) a quick movement into a short, light ornament preceding the final three chords.</p>
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<p>A quick review of my rules for these recordings. I let myself play the piece three times and forced myself to choose the best one. No cutting and pasting allowed to create an unnatural composite. So, there were things I did better and worse in each of the recordings, but this is the one I decided to go with. </p>
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<p>So how did I do with the my four challenges I identified? Let's break it down line by line.</p>
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<h3>Line 1 - Phrases 1 and 2</h3>
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<p><img src="/attachments/chopin_prelude_7_line_1.png" alt="Chopin Prelude in A Major, Line 1"></p>
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<p>The voicing of phrase 1 was just okay. Ideally, the B in the top of the right hand would sing out above the rest of the chord more than I managed. I can hear the G-sharp too strongly, mostly on the first chord on beat 2, and then I think it sounds better on beats 3 and 1. And I think the A on top of the right hand in phrase 2 is a bit better.</p>
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<p>As far as momentum... I think my dotted rhythms sound a bit languid and not as crisp or poppy as I would like. And I would like the two repetitions of the chords to fade out a little, rather than be repeated at a similar volume. This basically applies throughout the whole piece, so I won't bring it up again.</p>
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<h3>Line 2 - Phrases 3, 4, and 5</h3>
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<p><img src="/attachments/chopin_prelude_7_line_2.png" alt="Chopin Prelude in A Major, Line 2"></p>
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<p>In phrase 3, the F-sharp is a bit strong, drowning out the top voice. Similar to phrase 2, the voicing in phrase 4 sounds better, and it's no coincidence that there are only two notes in the right hand chords for these phrases. Easier to do the voicing with thinner textures. I think I liked the way I played phrase 1 better than phrase 5.</p>
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<h3>Line 3 - Phrases 6, 7, and 8</h3>
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<p><img src="/attachments/chopin_prelude_7_line_3.png" alt="Chopin Prelude in A Major, Line 3"></p>
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<p>I feel pretty good about the awkward stretch at the end of phrase 6. I like the way my right hand sounds in phrase 7, but I would like to bring out the bottom of the left hand descending from F-sharp to E more strongly. I didn't quite nail the finish. In anticipation of needing to shift my right hand quickly to play the grace note, I popped the C-sharp - A chord on the dotted rhythm a little too harshly.</p>
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<h2>Production Notes</h2>
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<p>Don't be fooled by the two microphones inside the piano on the video. This was actually recorded only on my cheap Fifine mic. My intended recording setup is as follows:</p>
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<ul>
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<li>2 x Rode M5 condenser mics in an X-Y configuration ~6" above the piano strings</li>
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<li>Fifine condenser mic for room ambience &amp; reverb</li>
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<li>Focusrite Scarlett 4i4 USB audio interface</li>
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<li>Ardour digital audio workstation for mixing the audio</li>
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<li>GoPro HERO11 Black for video</li>
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<li>OpenShot video editor to combine audio and video</li>
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</ul>
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<p>Before recording, I spent a lot of time fiddling with my audio interface because I didn't think my Rode mics were working. I thought it was an issue with the phantom power that the audio interface is supposed to supply to the mics, so I kept switching between lots of different USB cables trying to find one that worked. After lots of frustration, I realized they had been working all along, but the LEDs on the audio interface just weren't lighting up!</p>
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<p>But then when I actually sat down to record, I didn't double check that they were live, and I had messed something up in Ardour, so they didn't actually record anything. But since I had the Fifine recording the room, I was able to use that audio instead. Now that I've worked out some kinks, I expect the recording process to go much more smoothly next month.</p>
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<p>On the editing side of things, the audio straight from the mic sounds pretty good, but somewhere along the way when I was putting it together with the video and uploading to YouTube, it now sounds much worse. My initial guess is that I need to double check my audio bitrate settings in OpenShot. Even on the audio file, there is a bit of a buzz/rattle occasionally, which I think is a result of the surface I had the mic resting on. Need to take a closer look at that as well.</p>
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<h2>Conclusion</h2>
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<p>So that was my first recording in my 12 recordings in 12 months challenge. There were some struggles getting my workflow figured out for this first one, but I think the result turned out okay. And it's better than nothing!</p>
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<p>Next month: Edward MacDowell's "To A Wild Rose"</p></content><category term="misc"/><category term="piano"/><category term="recordingChallenge"/></entry><entry><title>The Bear 2025</title><link href="https://shanefeuz.com/the-bear-2025.html" rel="alternate"/><published>2025-10-13T00:00:00-06:00</published><updated>2025-10-13T00:00:00-06:00</updated><author><name>Shane Feuz</name></author><id>tag:shanefeuz.com,2025-10-13:/the-bear-2025.html</id><summary type="html"><p>A not insignificant part of the last 4-5 years of my life has been oriented around my goal to finish the Bear 100. I am deeply grateful to my wife, parents, family and friends who have continued to support me along the way. I would not have made it very …</p></summary><content type="html"><p>A not insignificant part of the last 4-5 years of my life has been oriented around my goal to finish the Bear 100. I am deeply grateful to my wife, parents, family and friends who have continued to support me along the way. I would not have made it very far on this journey alone. Some of my most fulfilling and cherished memories are seeing the people I love out on the race course when I'm in the thick of it. So before I dive into my 4,000 word self-centered ramblings about my experience at the Bear in 2025, let me say: thank you!</p>
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<h2>Setting the stage</h2>
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<p>The first year that I signed up for the Bear in 2022, I came down with mono in August, a month before the race. That took it out of me completely and there was no way I was even going to attempt to complete the course that year. </p>
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<p>So I signed up again in 2023, and this time, I actually made it to the start line. I had a pretty good day overall, but around mile 80, my right hip really started giving me some trouble, and I was reduced to a slow walk in the cold dark. When I made it to the mile 85 aid station, I was so cold and tired that I sat down and wrapped up in a blanket. In hindsight, I think this is what really did me in. I probably could have kept limping my way to the finish, but after sitting for a while, my hip tightened and deteriorated to the point that I couldn't swing my leg forward at all even at a walk. So I made the tough decision to drop out of the race. </p>
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<p>This was going to be my year! I quit my job at the end of 2024 to allow myself the opportunity to focus all of my energy on training, hoping to be able to compete at a high level come race day. Training through the winter and early spring went really well. I was in a groove, training twice a day on most days, with my only other major concerns day to day being eating enough food to sustain the training, and resting and recovering to absorb the training and keep getting more and more fit. The training was working, I was getting faster and running more and more miles each week. But then, disaster struck!</p>
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<p>If you polled a random sample of endurance coaches and asked them the biggest risk to an amateur athlete quitting their job to focus on training, I think the number one response would be that having that much time available would make it too easy for the athlete to over train and develop an injury. At the end of April and beginning of May, I started having more and more niggles and pains, and I tried to do the right thing and give myself rest and recovery. But I didn't quite get it right, and probably was a too greedy and impatient. </p>
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<p>Towards the end of one of my long runs in the middle of May, I began feeling some pain in the front of my left knee. I took it easy for a few days, not thinking too much of it. After a few days recovery, I ran a tempo workout on the Logan River Trail. My previous workouts for the year had mostly been on the roads, and specifically up a really steep mile long hill in Providence. I was excited to be getting out on the trails to see how my fitness was shaping up compared to previous years. The workout went really well! It was the fastest I'd ever run the river trail by a wide margin. But, the last few miles my knee started hurting again. Later that night, as I was going down our stairs, my knee was really hurting, and I was starting to think that I really messed up.</p>
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<p>When I tried to go for a run a couple days later, I only made it about 20 min before developing a sharp pain in my knee. I immediately dropped my training volume to almost nothing for a couple weeks and focused on doing some hip strength and mobility exercises. I was hopeful that with some focused recovery efforts, I could be back on track in a few weeks. My hope was misplaced, and even after taking it easy for a while, I wasn't really seeing any improvement, so by the end of June I made an appointment with a physical therapist. </p>
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<p>Rehab was a slow and torturous process, and for a few weeks, I didn't feel like I was getting better at all. Thankfully by the end of July, I was starting to see some glimpses of meaningful progress, but I found it hard to stay positive and optimistic, knowing that even if I managed to get healthy by the time the Bear rolled around at the end of September, my training over the summer would leave me feeling woefully under prepared.</p>
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<p>August and September became a balancing act of trying to run more and regain at least a little fitness before the race without doing too much and reaggravating my knee. From the perspective of staying healthy, I manged this time well. In the final week or two before the race, I was finally feeling confident that my knee was not going to be the limiting factor for my performance come race day. But I was not feeling confident overall, as my average training volume for the summer was less than 35 mi per week, and I only manged two weeks above 50 mi. </p>
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<h2>Recap</h2>
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<h3>In The Beginning</h3>
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<p>On the day of the race, I followed my usual pre race morning routine, waking a couple of hours before the start to make sure I could drink some coffee, eat a bit of breakfast, and clear my bowels. A few final checks of my gear, then Morgan and I headed up to the start line, which is conveniently just 1.5 mi from our house. As everyone was getting lined up and ready to go, I bumped into my friend Mitch and decided to run with him to start the day. </p>
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<p>We ran up the road to Dry Canyon. I had initially thought I would keep running for about 3/4 mi up the Dry Canyon trail to the green gate, but Mitch and I decided to just settle into a moderate hike right away. As we emerged from the trees out onto the open switchbacks a couple miles up the trail, I looked around and was captivated by the brilliant golden leaves of the aspen forest all around us. Such a privilege to spend so much time in our beautiful mountains!</p>
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<h3>Going South</h3>
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<p>It took us about 2.5 hours to reach the Logan Peak aid station, which was right on schedule with the pace I wanted for the start of the race. As we left the aid station and made our way towards Leatham Hollow, I started to feel the first signs of some GI distress. This is a problem that I'm very familiar with during ultras, but I feel like I had been learning how to manage it better over the past couple years. I was quite surprised to have to be dealing with this so early, just 3 hours into the race. I was hoping I could make it down to the Leatham Hollow aid station, but the discomfort grew too big, so I had to pull off into the bushes to take care of business. Mitch continued on and I didn't see him again for the rest of the day.</p>
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<p>Even after my pit stop, when I made to the 4 mi descent down Leatham Hollow, I continued to feel severe GI discomfort and cramping. To make matters worse, I got stung by some wasps on my finger and my butt. I was not moving well and not feeling optimistic when I made it to the aid station at mile 19, but I was happy to see Morgan for the first time. She was understanding and encouraging, and I was still feeling determined to keep giving it my best.</p>
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<p>A quick stop at the port a potty and I headed out. My bowels continued to feel unconformable, and it felt like there was a black hole in stomach, stretching and pulling all of my muscles towards its gravitational center, like my body was collapsing in on itself. I ran very little of the road along Left Hand Fork towards the Richards Hollow trailhead. I could only manage 20-30 steps of running at a time without the discomfort becoming too much to handle. At the Richards Hollow trailhead there was another bathroom which I made use of, and started up the climb towards the next aid station.</p>
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<h3>Settling In</h3>
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<p>After slowly hiking for another hour and half, I started to feel a bit more settled, and even found a bit of a rhythm running without discomfort. I made it to the Upper Richards Hollow aid station at mile 28 a little after 12:30, which was already slower than my slow prediction for the day. I wasn't too worried about the time, because I knew if I could get my stomach under control I could surely move better through the rest of the course than I had been. That aid station was great with an Oktoberfest theme, and I had some mashed potatoes and a few little pieces of bratwurst. This seemed to be just what my stomach needed, because as I made my way down the forest road I was feeling much better and starting to feel more optimistic.</p>
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<p>I came to the four corners area up Right Hand Fork where Ryan and Courtney had brought their kids on a side-by-side ride to come cheer out on the course. I was pleasantly surprised that Ty had made it out to the spot as well with Kennedy. All the kids seemed to be having a good time cheering on the other runners and I saw them line up and give several runners a bunch of high fives as they passed. I stopped for a couple minutes to chat with them, but still had a long way to go. I feel so grateful to have people in my life who come and support me at my silly little events.</p>
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<p>From the four corners, it was a hot exposed climb up and then a steady descent down Ricks Canyon into the Right Hand Fork aid station at mi 37. I was moving well through this section and mostly feeling calm and confident. Coming in and out of the aid station, there was a volunteer sponging the runners with some ice water. It felt so good! As he went to pour the water on me, I pulled my sunglasses off so they wouldn't get wet, but totally forgot about my nice Bose headphones I was wearing and my phone in my pack. </p>
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<p>When I tried my headphones it seemed like one ear was working fine, but the other one was quiet and garbled. I took it off and turned it upside down, blew on it, shook it in the air for a while trying to get it to dry out. Thankfully, when I put it back on it seemed like it was working okay again! My phone was not so lucky, and now has a large deadzone on the touchscreen, which has made it basically unusable. It was 5-6 years old, so I guess it was time to get a new one anyway.</p>
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<h3>First Exhaustion</h3>
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<p>From Right Hand Fork to Temple Fork, my physical condition really began to deteriorate. Before the race, I was feeling like I would probably be okay for first 40 mi or so, but I was scared of how I would feel after that. This was also the hottest part of the day. Even though the 4 mi leading into the Temple Fork aid station are a gradual downhill, I was not running. It is always so demoralizing to be reduced to a walk on easily "runable" terrain. My legs were just feeling exhausted, and my mental headspace was turning quite negative. </p>
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<p>About a mile out from the aid station, I saw my dad walking up the road to meet me. I told him that this was reminiscent of the end of my first 50 miler at the McDowell Mountain Frenzy. At that race, he hiked a mile or so out from the mi 42 aid station to meet me, and I was really struggling. To this day, the final 8 miles of that race was the most pain and suffering I have pushed myself through at one of these ultras. So feeling that way now, at the 45 mi aid station with another 55 mi to go in front me... well, it was looking bleak. I was sick of it, and I wanted to quit. </p>
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<p>At the aid station, I pulled my chair into the shade and sat with my head in my hands for a long time. Morgan and my mom and dad were very encouraging and supportive. Morgan reminded me that leading up to the race, I said I had a finish at all costs mentality, and that I wanted to keep going even if I wanted to quit. I was really regretting making that pre-race declaration, and never again will I allow myself to indulge in such grand statements of hubris. I sat at the aid station for nearly half an hour, but finally felt my resolve harden, and decided to keep moving. As I stood up from my chair, I said "I'm quitting at Tony Grove," and I meant it.</p>
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<h3>Second Wind</h3>
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<p>Leaving Temple Fork and going up Blind Hollow is the second biggest climb of the course. So I was trying to take it as easy as possible, settling into a slow hike, and being passed by other participants every 5-10 minutes. Thankfully Blind Hollow is quite narrow, and the sun was getting lower as the afternoon turned to evening, so I was in the shade for the whole climb. About 3/4 mi from the top of the climb, I decided I could try running again, and was surprised to find that I was once again moving pretty well, even uphill! More evidence for one of my favorite mantras when I'm struggling: "it doesn't always get worse."</p>
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<p>And as I started down the 1 mi descent into the Tony Grove aid station, I was again met by my dad. He said he was relieved to see me running and not limping it in. He ran with me down to the aid station, which was one of my favorite parts of the whole day. I joked that quitting at mile 51 felt much more respectable than quitting at mild 45, but I knew I had more left to give and that I would make it at least to Franklin Basin because it's basically all downhill from Tony Grove. </p>
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<p>Morgan and my mom were also glad to see that I was feeling better and in an improved mood compared to Temple Fork. I changed my shoes and into a new shirt and took some extra layers with me as I left Tony Grove since it was starting to get dark and the temperature was dropping.
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I continued to feel good all the way to Franklin Basin. I was moving along to another of my mantras: "do what I can, when I can." So I was taking advantage of feeling good and I was so grateful to still be able to run, when several hours prior I had been so close to quitting. </p>
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<p>When I left Tony Grove, my dad said they would see me in 3-3.5 hours, and I told him I would be faster than that. I don't think they believed me because I made it into the Franklin Basin aid station at mile 61 faster than they were expecting, and they didn't have my stuff ready. The long day was taking its toll on my own mental capacity and on that of my crew. We did our best to muddle through getting my gear changed up and reloading my nutrition. </p>
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<p>Even though I knew the climb out of Franklin Basin was going to be hard, I had just enough optimism (delusion) to keep going. My plan for the rest of the night was to have Morgan as my only crew at Beaver Mountain, Beaver Creek, and Ranger Dip, so I told my dad that I hoped to see him a mile out from the finish line sometime Saturday morning, and my mom said she would be waiting for us at the finish.</p>
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<h3>The End</h3>
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<p>The climb out of Franklin Basin felt as hard as I feared, but I just tried to take it really easy, even taking a couple of breaks to let my legs and mind recover. Even so, as I made it to the top of the steepest part of the climb, 2 miles and 50 min later, I was feeling totally exhausted. I recalled how hours earlier, I was nearly ready to quit at Temple Fork, but I just kept moving, taking it easy, and eventually bounced back. So even after I made it past the steep climbing, I kept moving, trying to take it easy. I was clinging to a sliver of hope that I could repeat that experience. It soon became clear that this was a false hope. </p>
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<p>It's hard for me to write much about the next 4 hours. Each time that I've talked through it with a few family and friends since the race, the raw feelings of that night have resurfaced and I've become emotional. Even now, typing this in the comfort of my office, weeks removed from the event, I feel tears building in my eyes as the memories wash over me. </p>
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<p>The night grew colder, my thoughts grew darker, and the last vestiges of my strength and determination fled my body and soul. Every step was pain. I just wanted it all to be over, but I couldn't stop. I was in the middle of the backcountry in the middle of the freezing cold night. There was no solace to be found in simply stopping. So I knew I must continue. The only thought propelling me forward was getting to Beaver, seeing Morgan, and going home.</p>
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<p>As people came past me, many would inquire how I was doing, if I was doing alright, if I needed anything. I told them all that I was just trying to get to Beaver so I could quit. This was always met with answers of encouragement and support. I tried to get myself to believe that I could bounce back. I tried to remind myself that "it doesn't always get worse." But I kept asking why I was doing this, why should I keep going for another 10+ hours, why did it matter if I finished, why, why, why...?</p>
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<p>...I never found an answer.</p>
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<p>When I finally made it Beaver, I hugged Morgan and told her I was done. She must have sensed in my voice or my haggard appearance the finality of my decision, because there were no attempts to change my mind. I went to the radio crew at the aid station, filled out the paperwork for my second official DNF at the Bear 100, and we went home.</p>
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<h2>Thoughts on another DNF</h2>
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<p>Another attempt, another failure.</p>
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<p>I <em>am</em> a failure.</p>
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<p>I quit my job for <em>this</em>?</p>
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<p>I just wasn't tough enough.</p>
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<p>It's easy to second guess yourself in the days and weeks following a DNF. Now that I have not finished the Bear twice, maybe it was selfish of me to keep my spot in the event, when I could have dropped out prior to the race, and someone else could have gotten in off the waitlist. Maybe my hypothetical replace would have actually finished. (There's only a very small part of me that actually thinks that way, but I figured I would write it down anyway.) </p>
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<p>When things are hard and you don't feel good during an event, a common piece of advice/ultra endurance wisdom is to look around at the other participants and realize that they are all hurting too. I suppose this is meant to be encouraging in some way. I kept thinking about this while I was struggling out there. I think there were others in as much pain as me that still pushed on and finished. So why did I quit?</p>
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<p>There's another one of those 'why' questions! And that's really what I think it comes down to. The why of it all. Ever since I started doing these ultra things, others have asked me and I have asked myself why? I've given various answers at various times, but as I've gained more experience doing these events, I've observed what I am willing and not willing to push through while doing them, and a couple of themes have consistently emerged as my motivations for why I do them.</p>
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<p>Why do I do ultramarathons?</p>
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<ol>
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<li>I view ultramarathons (and all sport) as an act of self-expression.</li>
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<li>I enjoy the competitive outlet: competing against myself and others.</li>
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</ol>
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<p>Conspicuously absent from this short list is any sort of Goggins-esque staying hard, taking souls mentality. I embraced that mindset for my first 50 miler, and I did push through some significant pain to get my finish. And as a result, I couldn't run for more than six weeks afterwards due to sharp IT band pain. Maybe I've grown softer (hopefully wiser), but I haven't ever wanted to repeat that experience. </p>
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<p>When I hurt my knee and had to rehab all summer instead of put in solid training, I could easily rule out number 2 as a possible motivating factor to get me to the finish line of a tough race. I knew I wouldn't be at my best, and I knew I would be surrounded by people that if we were out for an easy run or a hard workout, in most circumstances I would be faster than them. So all that leaves me for a motivating factor is self-expression.</p>
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<p>So what do I mean by self-expression? I typically have goals or expectations for these events that require a long process of consistent training to have any chance of success, and therefore, training and racing becomes a creative process. The person I am prior to training is incapable of doing the thing that I'm training for. The weeks and months of consistent training shape and mold my body and mind, transforming me into the kind of person that can achieve the big goals that I set or myself. In this way, a race becomes the blank canvas with which I can express and share with others the new person that I have become.</p>
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<p>With that lens, I have no regrets about my decision to DNF. I think my level of training and fitness was fully expressed by the time I made it to Temple Fork and was thinking about quitting. I then continued for another 10 hours over 30 miles. About half of that time was suffering. And as I kept coming up empty out there on the frozen, dark trail, asking myself why I was continuing to hurt myself, I realized to continue would only prolong my meaningless suffering.</p></content><category term="misc"/><category term="training"/><category term="raceRecap"/></entry><entry><title>On Resuming Piano Lessons</title><link href="https://shanefeuz.com/on-resuming-piano-lessons.html" rel="alternate"/><published>2025-10-08T00:00:00-06:00</published><updated>2025-10-08T00:00:00-06:00</updated><author><name>Shane Feuz</name></author><id>tag:shanefeuz.com,2025-10-08:/on-resuming-piano-lessons.html</id><summary type="html"><p>In August 2025, I started taking piano lessons again after a 15-year break. It has been fun and rewarding, and I wanted to write down some of my thoughts about my personal history with the piano, my intentions and goals, and the process of finding a teacher.</p>
|
||
<h2>A (not so …</h2></summary><content type="html"><p>In August 2025, I started taking piano lessons again after a 15-year break. It has been fun and rewarding, and I wanted to write down some of my thoughts about my personal history with the piano, my intentions and goals, and the process of finding a teacher.</p>
|
||
<h2>A (not so) brief history</h2>
|
||
<p>I took piano lessons from age 8-18. For the first few years, I learned the basics under my mom's instruction. Around age 12, she decided it was time for me to have a different teacher, one Mr. Bailey at the local Yamaha music store. Then when we moved to Utah at age 13, I started lessons at the USU Youth Conservatory. Meghan, a nice girl with whom I did not quite click on a personal level, was my first teacher at the YC, but she graduated and moved on at the end of my first year. She recommended me to the YC's teacher of the year, Luke, who was a master's student at the time. He became my next and final piano teacher before my long hiatus.</p>
|
||
<p>Luke was a great teacher! I felt very comfortable working with him, and he immediately began pushing me much further out of my comfort zone on the piano than anyone had before. He choose Chopin's <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waltz_in_A-flat_major,_Op._69,_No._1_(Chopin)">Waltz in A-flat major, Op. 69, No. 1</a> as our first piece to work on. To my teenage self, this felt like my first piece of "real music" in the sense that I would feel proud to be able to perform it and not feel like it was a silly kids song. I'm not sure how well I ever managed to play it, but I enjoyed learning it and my eyes were opened to the possibility that if I practiced consistently, I might be able to get pretty good at playing the piano. </p>
|
||
<p>As I have been learning more about music history recently, I realized that over the course of my lessons with Luke, I got a well rounded exposure to many of the most important composers of the canonical piano repertoire. We studied pieces by Bach, Scarlatti, Haydn, Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Mendelssohn, Brahms, Debussy, Mussorgsky, and Kabalevsky. </p>
|
||
<p>As I thought about what I wanted to study in college, I considered auditioning for the Piano Performance and Pedagogy program at USU, but ultimately decided against it. My young mind was lured into studying economics as a way to make more money. Even though I wasn't a piano major, I decided to continue my piano lessons with Luke, but we both got busy and piano became less and less of a priority for me. By the end of my freshman year, our lessons had ended.</p>
|
||
<p>For the next few years, I played the piano only rarely, mostly because I didn't have a piano to play on. When I moved to Arizona for grad school, I took my mom's Yamaha P-60, a basic digital piano with weighted keys. Every once in a while, I would feel like I should start practicing more seriously, but I didn't like how different the P-60 felt from a real piano so I never stuck with it much. I did spend more time learning to play some country, rock, and pop songs either by ear or with some simple guitar tabs. </p>
|
||
<p>A little after we got married, Morgan began learning to play the cello, which felt inspiring to me to get back to practicing the piano. But I still had the same problem as before, no piano. I always dreamed of owning my own small grand piano. My parents gave an upright piano to most of my siblings as a wedding gift, so when Morgan and I got married, I asked instead for the cash value of what they would have spent on an upright piano to use towards my eventual purchase of a grand. </p>
|
||
<p>One day in July 2024, after some hemming and hawing and looking around online at various options, I finally decided to pull the trigger and drove down to Daynes Music in Salt Lake City. Although I would have loved to spring for a Steinway, the Essex fit much more comfortably in my budget (especially since I already had plans to quit my job for a while at the end of the year). I have been very pleased with my purchase, and my piano is probably my most prized possession.</p>
|
||
<p>I quit my job at the end of 2024 to focus on training for the Bear 100, but then I hurt my knee in May 2025, and suddenly had a lot more time and energy on my hands. I found myself playing the piano for hours a day. As my skills began to return to where they once were and I made progress learning some new pieces on my own, this became a virtuous feedback loop where I wanted to spend more and more time at the piano. But I kept running into some hiccups with my technique that I didn't feel like I could figure out on my own. To make the kind of progress I wanted, I would need to find a piano teacher.</p>
|
||
<h2>Intentions</h2>
|
||
<p>What kind of pianist would I have been if I had majored in Piano Performance and Pedagogy at USU? Certainly a better one than I am now. I like to set big goals. The ultimate achievement of those goals is not that important, but I find them to be inspiring and they require me to commit to a consistent process to have any chance of success. </p>
|
||
<p>For the piano, my big goal is to improve my playing to a point where I could conceivably prepare for an audition into a graduate piano program. I don't know whether I ever will want to do that, but I want my skills to be at that level.</p>
|
||
<p>I'm seeking an evolution in my playing ability. I feel like I need to improve (or perhaps redevelop) my fundamental technique to allow me to consistently create the sounds that I want to at the keyboard. </p>
|
||
<p>Above all, I want to consistently spend time at the piano each day making sounds and music that I enjoy.</p>
|
||
<h2>Finding a teacher</h2>
|
||
<p>There were three things I was looking for in a piano teacher: </p>
|
||
<ol>
|
||
<li>Highly skilled pianist</li>
|
||
<li>Experienced teacher</li>
|
||
<li>Personal fit</li>
|
||
</ol>
|
||
<p>I wanted to find someone who has been where I want to go on the piano. I have some lofty goals for what pieces I want to play, so I need to find someone that actually knows how to play them. But just because someone is a good pianist doesn't guarantee they'll be a good teacher, so I wanted to make sure they had a good track record of teaching. My teenage experience switching from Meghan to Luke showed me how important it is for me to feel comfortable with my teacher on a personal level. I've always been a bit picky when it comes to interpersonal relationships, so I was wary of just working with whomever.</p>
|
||
<p>I first asked my piano tuner for recommendations. He used to be in charge of the Youth Conservatory at USU, so I knew he had some good connections in the area. And he knew my old teacher, Luke, so I explained how much I liked working with Luke and that I would want to find a teacher like him if possible. My tuner gave me a few names to consider, and I decided to reach out to Ben Laude to see if he was taking on any new students. Unfortunately (for me), Ben is focusing his efforts on online piano content creation. He told me he has one last student that will be graduating this year, and that he is not looking to take any additional students at this time.</p>
|
||
<p>My tuner also mentioned that he thought Luke was living in the Salt Lake area, so I decided to try to look him up. I found his <a href="https://hancockpianostudies.com">website</a> online, which showed me he was teaching piano out of his private studio in Draper. This would be about an hour and forty minute drive from my home in Logan. That's a long way to go for piano lessons, but after thinking about it a while, I decided to go ahead and send Luke a message to see if he had any availability to take on a returning student. He was excited to hear from me and we set up a time for me to come down.</p>
|
||
<p>At our first meeting, we spent a fair bit of time just talking and catching up. It felt comfortable and natural and even before we sat down at the pianos, I was already feeling great about my decision to give it a shot despite the long distance. After chatting for a while, I played him the piece I had started learning a few weeks earlier, CPE Bach's Fantasia in F-sharp minor. And we went over exercises and some technique fundamentals. We went about an hour longer than we originally planned, and it felt like no time at all. By the end, I knew that I had made the right choice.</p>
|
||
<h2>Progress</h2>
|
||
<p>At the end of our first meeting, Luke sent me home with a book by Tobias Matthay, The Visible and Invisible in Piano Technique, which I quickly devoured. I felt like I was in the midst of an awakening. My practice quickly became more intentional, and I focused more on actually listening to myself and paying attention to how I'm moving my arms, hands, fingers in a way that maintains freedom and is part of a consistent technique.</p>
|
||
<p>It has now been a couple months since I started back at lessons, and after that initial burst of revelations coming out of the first lesson, my progress has become incremental. I'm more focused on the minute details of my technique and tone production, which has slowed my pace of "learning" new pieces. But I definitely feel like I'm playing better now than I was before I resumed lessons. </p>
|
||
<p>Overall, I have loved returning to piano lessons after my long hiatus. Music is a beautiful, fulfilling part of life, and I'm glad that I have the opportunity to enjoy my time at the piano each day.</p></content><category term="misc"/><category term="piano"/></entry><entry><title>What am I going to do?</title><link href="https://shanefeuz.com/what-am-i-going-to-do.html" rel="alternate"/><published>2025-08-31T00:00:00-06:00</published><updated>2025-08-31T00:00:00-06:00</updated><author><name>Shane Feuz</name></author><id>tag:shanefeuz.com,2025-08-31:/what-am-i-going-to-do.html</id><summary type="html"><p>My brain spewed out the following ideas and questions in the final weeks leading up to my departure from my position at Rabo Agrifinance at the end of 2024. Now in August 2025, looking back on this, I do think it accurately captures the way I <em>sometimes</em> feel.</p>
|
||
<p>And the …</p></summary><content type="html"><p>My brain spewed out the following ideas and questions in the final weeks leading up to my departure from my position at Rabo Agrifinance at the end of 2024. Now in August 2025, looking back on this, I do think it accurately captures the way I <em>sometimes</em> feel.</p>
|
||
<p>And the final idea is one of my favorite things I've written. My time away from work focusing on training for the Bear 100 has, unsurprisingly, not gone exactly as I hoped or planned. I'm still not 100% sure what my life will look like as I come out the other side of this time off (although I of course have plenty of ideas still). But I know this time has been truly restorative and invigorating in a way that I feel I can move forward with more peace and better balance across my endeavors and pursuits.</p>
|
||
<hr>
|
||
<p>Gotta do something.</p>
|
||
<p>Enjoy retirement.</p>
|
||
<p>Enjoy time off.</p>
|
||
<p>Make money.</p>
|
||
<p>Get a job.</p>
|
||
<p>Change careers.</p>
|
||
<p>Learn new skills.</p>
|
||
<p>Curl up in a ball and never do anything again.</p>
|
||
<p>Disconnect from society.</p>
|
||
<p>Starve.</p>
|
||
<p>Avoid everything that is even slightly uncomfortable.</p>
|
||
<p>Get lots of advice from lots of sources.</p>
|
||
<p>Implement none of it.</p>
|
||
<p>No one knows what "should" be done.</p>
|
||
<p>There's not a rule book.</p>
|
||
<p>Who do I admire?</p>
|
||
<p>And what do I admire about them?</p>
|
||
<p>Even if I accept that everything takes hard work, how can I know what is worth working hard for?</p>
|
||
<p>What careers am I competent enough to succeed in?</p>
|
||
<p>What do I <em>want</em> to do?</p>
|
||
<p>Why do I need to do anything?</p>
|
||
<p>What is the source of my angst?</p>
|
||
<p>Do I need to have a plan?</p>
|
||
<p>Can I embrace spontaneity?</p>
|
||
<p>What am I interested in?</p>
|
||
<p>What else do I need besides what I already have?</p>
|
||
<p>It's easy to ask questions.</p>
|
||
<p>It's harder to answer them.</p>
|
||
<p>Temporary certainties.</p>
|
||
<p>Potential curiosities.</p>
|
||
<p>Deconstruction and rebirth.</p>
|
||
<p>Metamorphosis.</p>
|
||
<p>I don't think caterpillars know they are going to turn into butterflies. They just know they need to build a cocoon.</p></content><category term="misc"/><category term="thoughts"/></entry><entry><title>Logan Peak 2024 Recap</title><link href="https://shanefeuz.com/logan-peak-2024.html" rel="alternate"/><published>2024-06-24T00:00:00-06:00</published><updated>2024-06-24T00:00:00-06:00</updated><author><name>Shane Feuz</name></author><id>tag:shanefeuz.com,2024-06-24:/logan-peak-2024.html</id><summary type="html"><p><img src="/attachments/logan_peak_2024.jpg" alt="Running Up Dry Canyon"></p>
|
||
<figcaption style="text-align:center;">Leading the way up Dry Canyon. <br> Photo: <a href="https://www.hjnews.com/news/local/running-locals-finish-atop-annual-logan-peak-trail-race/article_d3d996b6-31ab-11ef-9f4d-1ba8cc937ee2.html">Eli Lucero | Herald Journal</a></figcaption>
|
||
|
||
<p>My plan going into the race was to push it up Dry Canyon and climbing to Logan Peak and just do the rest of the run a little higher than my normal long run intensity. No one super speedy …</p></summary><content type="html"><p><img src="/attachments/logan_peak_2024.jpg" alt="Running Up Dry Canyon"></p>
|
||
<figcaption style="text-align:center;">Leading the way up Dry Canyon. <br> Photo: <a href="https://www.hjnews.com/news/local/running-locals-finish-atop-annual-logan-peak-trail-race/article_d3d996b6-31ab-11ef-9f4d-1ba8cc937ee2.html">Eli Lucero | Herald Journal</a></figcaption>
|
||
|
||
<p>My plan going into the race was to push it up Dry Canyon and climbing to Logan Peak and just do the rest of the run a little higher than my normal long run intensity. No one super speedy or aggressive showed up for the race this year, so I found myself setting the pace up Dry Canyon. This made me feel some pressure to maybe go a bit faster than I was intending, and my legs were starting to feel it toward the end of the climb. </p>
|
||
<p>Reached the top of Dry in first place with Paul Bradford on my feet. I walked for a bit to get down a granola bar and let my legs recover and Paul took off like a mountain goat. I didn't think it likely that I would catch back up to him as he was looking quite strong and controlled. I made sure to keep my effort lighter as I headed along the South Syncline trail towards Providence Canyon. I was pretty quickly passed by two more runners, and later, Mike McKnight passed me around mile 9 or so near the spring. (Aside: this race was just 8 days after Mike finished 2nd at the Tahoe 200. Mike is a great athlete, but I was really hoping I would be in good enough shape to outrun him so soon after such a big race.) I never enjoy getting passed in a race and began to question my strategy a little bit. I convinced myself to stick with my plan to keep things easy until the climb to Logan Peak. I decided I would just see what place I was in at the top of the peak and try not to let anyone pass me from the peak to the finish.</p>
|
||
<p>As I got to the aid station at the bottom of the 2.3 mile climb to Logan Peak, I got eyes on the runners in places 2-4 as they were making their way up the road. It looked like there was a good chance that I could pass them all during the climb. About halfway to the peak, I made my way past Mike McKnight. I told myself that pushing on this climb is exactly what I've been training for, and I caught the other two about a 3/4 mile out from the peak. Shortly after that, Paul came running past on his way back down the mountain. It seemed like he was probably around 10-15 minutes ahead of me, and he looked great and was moving smooth. Still not likely I'd be able to catch him by the end.</p>
|
||
<p>I was the second runner to the peak, and then turned my focus to holding off any challenges from behind, and maybe trying to make up a bit of time on first place. I was moving well on the descent from Logan Peak, and it seemed like I was creating a pretty good gap on 3rd and 4th. When I got down to the aid station, Cody Draper, the Bear 100 RD, gave me some encouragement to try and catch Paul. He said Paul was only 10 minutes ahead. I wasn't super convinced that I would have a chance, but decided to keep pushing as best as I could. It is a race after all. </p>
|
||
<p>I was moving okay along the forest road and dropping onto the single track toward the North Syncline, but then started to really feel fatigue setting in and struggled to keep pushing on the rolling climbs. I also was feeling a bit nauseous and didn't get down as much fluid or calories as I wanted. If it were a longer race, I would have forced myself to slow down and get the nutrition in, but since I only had a bit over an hour to go, I decided to just keep running.</p>
|
||
<p>When I reached the aid station at the top of Dry Canyon, they told me Paul was 12 minutes ahead of me. After struggling on the climbs for the last few miles, I wasn't surprised that he had put some more time into me. I decided I should take it a bit easy on the steep rocky descent down the top of Dry to make sure I didn't trip and fall. Then I would try to open it up and push hard on the lower section of Dry to the finish. </p>
|
||
<p>My legs were really getting tired by now and anytime I had to make a quick reaction to avoid tripping over a rock, I felt like my muscles were about 90% of the way to totally cramping up. I talked myself through the descent, repeating over and over "every step in its place," "perfect step," "watch the shadows and overgrowth," and other similar phrases. As I reached the final turns at the bottom of Dry Canyon, I felt relieved that I had made it down without tripping or cramping.</p>
|
||
<p>I made my way through the Dry Canyon parking lot and across the cattle guard onto the road. I checked my watch and realized getting under 4:30 was possible if I could finish fast. My mind latched onto the idea that my time needed to be 4:29:xx. I used that as motivation to let it rip down the hill toward the finish. As I rounded the corner onto Gibson Parkway, I put it in a surge and then briefly gave up for about 30 seconds or so thinking there was no way I was going to make it. But then the finish line came into view, and I realized it was closer than I thought. I turned it back up for the final 100 yards or so and stopped my watch as I crossed the finish line at 4:29:53.</p>
|
||
<p><img src="/attachments/logan_peak_2024_finish.jpg" alt="Nearing the finishline"></p>
|
||
<figcaption style="text-align:center;">Rounding the corner to the finish. <br> Photo: Morgan Feuz</figcaption>
|
||
|
||
<p>They keep track of the results by hand so I was nervous I maybe was cutting it too close and wasn't sure what time they would actually write down. My official time was 4:29:58, so my final push was just enough. Because for some reason that makes a difference.</p>
|
||
<p>Further reading: Shawn Harrison's <a href="https://www.hjnews.com/news/local/running-locals-finish-atop-annual-logan-peak-trail-race/article_d3d996b6-31ab-11ef-9f4d-1ba8cc937ee2.html">article</a> in the Herald Journal.</p></content><category term="misc"/><category term="training"/><category term="raceRecap"/></entry><entry><title>Hogeye Marathon Review</title><link href="https://shanefeuz.com/hogeye-2023.html" rel="alternate"/><published>2023-05-24T00:00:00-06:00</published><updated>2023-05-24T00:00:00-06:00</updated><author><name>Shane Feuz</name></author><id>tag:shanefeuz.com,2023-05-24:/hogeye-2023.html</id><summary type="html"><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9poW7polzC0?si=53agXYIZL3BOaVdJ" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>
|
||
|
||
<p>Things did not go as I hoped they would, but I am also not too surprised about that. Here are a few notes I made in my training journal during the lead up to this race:</p>
|
||
<p>2/12/2023</p>
|
||
<blockquote>
|
||
<p>My current guess is that I'll be able to run my …</p></blockquote></summary><content type="html"><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9poW7polzC0?si=53agXYIZL3BOaVdJ" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>
|
||
|
||
<p>Things did not go as I hoped they would, but I am also not too surprised about that. Here are a few notes I made in my training journal during the lead up to this race:</p>
|
||
<p>2/12/2023</p>
|
||
<blockquote>
|
||
<p>My current guess is that I'll be able to run my marathon at a pace that produces somewhere around 2-2.5 mmol/L. Maybe that's too aggressive, but I'll keep running my workouts and extending time at MP and see how I feel. </p>
|
||
</blockquote>
|
||
<p>3/29/2023</p>
|
||
<blockquote>
|
||
<p>Looking back at the past few weeks of MP workouts, it looks like when I'm feeling fresh, EF is usually much higher, around 1.75. And my HR in miles 2 and 4 was actually closer to what I see during Tempo intervals. </p>
|
||
<p>When I've been feeling fatigued on other MP workouts, EF is usually around 1.70 So seeing the most of these down around 1.60 is definitely low, but this feels like a situation where I shouldn't get caught up on the results of one workout. I've done some good workouts over the past 7-10 days and I'm building up some fatigue in my legs. An EF drop from 1.75 to 1.60 is an 8.6% decline. Although I expect to see my performance decrease during periods of higher density of workouts in my trianing, this is getting close to what I feel would be too much. </p>
|
||
<p>When I was first looking at this tonight, I did my math wrong and thought it was a 5% decline, and I wrote that 10% would probably be too much. So now I corrected the math and 8.6% is pretty close to 10%. But I actually have no idea how much is too much, because this is really the first training cycle I'm tracking my HR and EF all the time. So for now I'll just note it and see how things turn out.</p>
|
||
</blockquote>
|
||
<p>4/5/2023</p>
|
||
<blockquote>
|
||
<p>Felt better today than yesterday while warming up. Tempo interval was slower than I was expecting and HR higher. My data haven't been looking great the past week to 10 days or so. But there's nothing I can do about it to change anything before the marathon now. Just keep to my taper plan and try to reduce work stress as much as possible.</p>
|
||
</blockquote>
|
||
<p>4/7/2023</p>
|
||
<blockquote>
|
||
<p>I felt flat and generally not great. Getting worried I put myself into a hole that a taper alone will not pull me out of. I also spent quite a bit of the day in front of my computer, so maybe that had an effect. Possibly poor nutrition status. I don't know anything.</p>
|
||
</blockquote>
|
||
<p>4/8/2023</p>
|
||
<blockquote>
|
||
<p>HR was yet again higher than I expected during warmup. I'm thinking maybe my expectations are anchored to times when I've been fatigued enough to actually repress my HR. Ran the first 1.5 miles of each rep by feel, then the last 0.5 miles had my watch alert me if I was below my goal pace. Each time I had to speed up just a little to get down to pace. </p>
|
||
</blockquote>
|
||
<p>There was ample evidence pointing towards needing to adjust my expectations for this marathon, but I have a bias towards optimism and reframing tough days and workouts in a positive light. I tend to lean towards aggressive goals and not wanting to put limits on myself. This has resulted in some races that go great and I even surprise myself a bit, and other races that I blow up spectacularly and some in between. I'd say overall I've had successful races about 25% of the time. I hope to be able to use my training journal to start learning how to better set myself up for success. I still will probably set aggressive goals, but maybe I can raise my success rate to 50-75%. </p>
|
||
<h2>Possible Lessons</h2>
|
||
<ul>
|
||
<li>Physiological testing is a point in time, not necessarily predictive of performance</li>
|
||
<li>Need to weight HR data a little heavier in my decision making</li>
|
||
<li>Ramped volume too aggressively following marathon training camp</li>
|
||
<li>Lactate for marathon pace ~1.2-1.5 mmol/L.</li>
|
||
<li>HR 1st half of marathon &lt; 170 bpm.</li>
|
||
</ul></content><category term="misc"/><category term="training"/><category term="raceRecap"/></entry></feed> |